Monday, April 03, 2006

LETTER TO DAD

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the bed. It was addressed,

"Dad".



With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:



Dear Dad,



It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice, even with all her piercings, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy.

Even though you won't care for her as she is so much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.



Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.



Your son, John



PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you!



Call when it is safe for me to come home.

13 comments:

Orikinla Osinachi. said...

He got a bad report and was now threatening his father with a worst case scenario?

Good serio-comic script.

God bless.

Foo said...

Kids nowadays are so smart, you cant guess what will happen next.

"it's better be late than ...."
it is something like seeing your kids complete the above sentence to
"it's better be late than pregnant"

William said...

Nice 1 there

April said...

that is the best thing ever. i just hope my little one never does it to me.

Dr.John said...

Funny.

Mandy said...

Smart kid, that's one way to get off the hook lol

Sideshow said...

Damn, I wish I had this letter when I wash in high school.

imphaldiary said...

Very witty kid. You know what, that kid is never going to fail in his life. He will find a way out of his difficulties in life. If I were his dad I will be happy inside my heart even though he will be grounded for making my heart jump out of my mouth.

Foo said...

hey imphaldiary, how come i never thought of it like this way?

no wonder i m still not a father yet.

ps: i m still in my mid tweenties. LOL

ming said...

i wrote a letter to dad once. and i left it.and i left. seems like a lifetime ago..

Anji said...

My 15 year old could write a note like that!

Pammu said...

Two things: (well, four, however you look at it)

1) I would have written the same letter to my mom about a crummy 75 I got in what I remember as a grade I got in Filipino (go figure: I don't really speak the language, and I hated our quasi-gay teacher)

2) If I had a son who wrote the same kind of letter, I'd
a) welcome him home with a stern face and break into a laugh that welcomes him with a hug and tell him that he's seriously grounded.
b) frame the letter and mount it on the kitchen wall as proof of my son's creativity in the midst of a crisis. Not only had he prooved that he copes quite well with stress, but he also has proved that he is quite the creative nutter.

That just deserves proper kudos ;)

foo said...

seems like i m the youngest in here. i still dont know how to become a good father, i must learn more from you all.