Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Latest Oxford Dictonary

Divorce
Future tense of marriage

Cigarette
A pints of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a foll on the other hand

Lecture
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing throught the minds of either

Conference
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

Compromise
the art of diving a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

Tears
The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power....

Dictionary
A place where sucess comes before work

Conference Room
A Place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Classic
A book which people praise, but do not read

Smile
A curve that can set a lot of things straight

Office
A place where you can relax after your strenous home life

Yawn
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth

Etc.
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do

Committee
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together

Experience
the name men gibve to their mistakes

Atom Bomb
an invention to end all inventions

Philosopher
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead

Diplomat
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip

Opportunist
a person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river

Optimist
A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway " see i am not injured yet"

Miser
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich

Father
a banker provided by nature

Criminal
a guy no different from the rest...except that he got caught

Boss
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

Politician
One who shakes your hand before electorns and your confidence after

Doctor
A person who kill your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

No comments: