Tuesday, November 22, 2005

[relationship] How to cope with break up?

I was wondering, how do some or all of you cope with break up? And what about all those uncertain relationship, complicated yet no remedy relationship.

Did some research and I manage to find some book about it. It’s not that comprehensive but at least the book would be useful for some of you out there. Below are 3 books that you can expect to find in most of the bookshelf in your regular bookstore.

# He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys by Greg Behrendt

# He's Just Not That Into You : Your Daily Wake-up Call by Greg Behrendt

# He's Just Not That into You: 2006 Day to Day Calendar by Greg Behrendt

But I would like to recommend the following book.

It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken : The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy
by Greg Behrendt, Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt

Their book includes Seven Commandments. Here are three of them:

Don't see him or talk to him for 60 days: "It's the same thing as breaking an addiction, Greg Behrendt said. "You wouldn't ask an alcoholic to dry out in a bar. Get away from the person who will ultimately bring you the most amount of pain for 60 days to get perspective."

Get yourself a breakup buddy: "Again, very much like a sponsor in AA," Greg Behrendt said. "You're going to use your friend, right? Let's make it official. Don't wear out your friendship. Don't overload your friends. Make it official. Make it a thing you're doing together. Say, 'Listen. I need your help. When I go to a bar, I want you to take my phone. I want to call you instead of him. When I go to return his stuff, you take it instead of me.' And the break-up buddy says, 'We only talk about it an hour.' "

Get rid of his stuff and the things that remind you of him: "I'm not saying burn it," Ruotola-Behrendt said. "Although, if that helps you, that's your prerogative. But we say to make three boxes: one for the memories you'd like to hang on to for later; stuff that goes back to him in the second box; and then trash in the third." She advises giving the first and second to the break-up buddy, "so later you can decide and you can get it back."

The above is just a glimpse of that is inside the book. Now I am waiting my hands to get hold of one copy in local book store.

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